FYI it’s not non genders.

it’s super simple, even Wikipedia knows what’s up:

Non-binary or genderqueer is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine‍—‌identities that are outside the gender binary. Non-binary identities can fall under the transgender umbrella, since many non-binary people identify with a gender that is different from their assigned sex.

Stop being an ignorant garbage human. It’s 2021. The Internet exists. Use it to educate yourself. And stop trying to erase us.

My brain is in a really shitty place right now. It’s pretty difficult for me to articulate.

The biggest frustration at the moment is I’m lacking joy and focus, I’m incredibly indecisive, and bored out of my mind.

A simple temporary solution would be to go get some sleep, but it’s too early for me. Even though I’m exhausted

And to the sick fucks I’ve blocked who are currently reading this and taking immense pleasure in my struggles: fuck you.

If you feel depressed, it’s okay to talk about it.

If you feel anxious, it’s okay to talk about it.

If you feel lonely, it’s okay to talk about it.

If you are struggling with any mental health problems, it’s okay to talk about it.

pretending to care about my pronouns after you’ve intentionally repeatedly misgendered me for months doesn’t make you an ally.

it makes you the same shitty person you’ve been all along.

Don’t ever let someone make you feel guilty because they are suffering the consequences of their own actions.

Bell, Let’s Talk

It’s that day the giant blue media monopoly in Canada has branded their day to talk about mental health. I hate that this company touts mental health support while continuing to ignore the mental health needs of their very own employees. We need to talk.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to treat others, regardless of whether they’re feeling okay or not okay, like garbage.

I don’t hide my struggles, for the most part. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I’ve hit rock bottom. It took a while, but I managed to climb up and out. I’m not afraid to talk about it.

It has, unfortunately, impacted my content creation over the years. But I refuse to give in to it and give up. It might sideline me at times, but I keep fighting it to jump back in.

I’ve hit rock bottom. Again. It’s why I haven’t created much in the way of content for the last ~six months or so, in addition to the internet problems we had in the fall and early winter.

I’ve had to walk away from opportunities, as I’ve lacked the bandwidth for any of it. I’m out of spoons. I’ve lost my spark. I refuse to give in and give up.

I’ve lost the desire to game. I’ve lost the desire to have fun. My get up and go got up and went, and left me feeling like I’ve been run over by a tractor trailer. I refuse to give in and give up.

Things are pretty bad this time around. I have only worked 1 1/4 days in 2021. I’m currently off work and in the process of getting approved to take a medical leave.

I probably shouldn’t write about it publicly. But I refuse to give in to the fucking stigma surrounding mental health, and will not be silenced.

I’m thankful I have a great employer & benefits. It’s still a stressful waiting game, but it’s an opportunity so so many others do not have. That is a fucking shame. Everyone should have the resources available to get care for mental health struggles.  Everyone.

I’m lucky. Incredibly lucky. I have a partner, family and friends that love me and support me. I have a great family doctor who wants nothing but to see me healthy, physically & mentally. I have resources to help me. I refuse to give in and give up.

I feel like shit. A lot. I know it’s my brain, struggling. I refuse to give in and give up. I’m fighting. One day, I will get better and hold my head high in victory.

For now, I put on a brave face. My mask. And I fight. I refuse to give in and give up.

I kindly ask that you try to remember it’s okay to not be okay. Everyone is fighting their own battles that others may not have a chance to see – or help fight.

And while I’m struggling right now, my DMs are still open if you yourself need someone to reach out to.



Protected: walking away

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Protected: what a waste

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short term guests

Rob and I are hosting my friend from Mixer, Kittie, and her family for a few days while they get settled after their move to the city. I’ve taken some time off work and am excited to help them begin the getting settled process in a new place!

Not sure where they’re headed to after they stay with us for a bit, but hopefully they’ll be able to find a place to live soon enough, as the shelter system is certainly less than ideal – and they unfortunately can’t stay with us super long as our landlady will throw a fit.

Memories That Never Fade

It’s been eight years, and not a single day goes by that I don’t miss one of the best men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing (let alone being related to). So much has changed in the time that has elapsed, but it still feels like yesterday. Our memories are fresh in my mind.

If you have a grandparent (or even a grandparent-like figure to you) still living today, and it’s at all possible, please take the time to make more memories with them. Life is frequently more precious than we realize, and there’s nothing worse than wondering “what if?” when we don’t take that extra moment.